A LETTER FROM BARACK OBAMA TO HILLARY CLINTON
By: Obie Usategui
2/5/2016
Dear Hillary:
I hope by the time you receive this letter, you find yourself well and in good spirits amidst your grueling presidential campaign. I did not want to waste any time in responding to your inquiry regarding my intent to endorse you. In consideration to your request, however, there are issues, most of which, I deem crucial and in need of complete clarification before I can make any such commitments to you and your campaign.
First and foremost, if you remember back on Tuesday, November 4th, 2008, election eve, when I was first elected to becoming the next president of the United States of America, I pledged to fundamentally transform this nation. And, quite frankly, in hindsight, I really think I lived up to that promise.
Think of it this way, when I was first elected as president of the U.S., my
transformation agenda was set-forth on the premise of fundamentally destroying the nation – to where we would do away with capitalism once and for all. I truly believed my years as a promoter of the Alinsky model, did pay off in the end after all. Had Saul being alive today, I believe he would have been very proud of the way I have implemented his model. I think the way in which I have implanted the seed of dissention amongst the classes, my militant crusades in organizing a radical revolution of the “have nots” vs. the “haves”, the “poor vs. the “wealthy”, the “proletariat” vs. the “bourgeoisie” a’ la Marx and Engels, will be my legacy as the founder, benefactor and architect of communism in the United States.
I truly believe that all the stalwart U.S. haters have to be proud of what I have done and accomplished. I am sure that my mentor Reverend Wright, Ayers, Farrakhan, the Castro Brothers, Soros, Michael Moore, Sean Penn, Frank Marshall, were he alive today, and all others, who have committed their lives to undermining the U.S. democracy, all share-in my success in the implementation of communism in the U.S. – a feat which would have been thought-off as virtually impossible a few decades ago.
Domestically, I think I have done rather well. Think of it, the national debt is up to 19+ trillion dollars, the debt and the nation’s deficit are at their highest levels ever in the history of the country. My administration has been marred with all kinds of scandals, to wit, from Fast and Furious to the IRS targeting selected conservative political groups, to 40 United States Armed Forces veterans who died while waiting for care from the Veterans Administration to my lying about the Affordable Care Act., have been, to mention a few, some of my landmark victories throughout my presidency.
And, what about the way I have cooked the numbers to making stupid mainstream Americans believe that “unemployment” is really much lower than what it really is? How about that? Clever ah?
And, as if this all wasn’t enough, what about my running the country as one of those third world banana republics dictatorships, through the use of Executive Orders, that bypassed Congress at will. How do you like that? And, what about, for the first time ever, doing away with all this legal “bull s…t”, you know, the Constitution crap and having to concern ourselves with those idiotic caped magistrates of the Supreme Court? How about that? Thought you never lived to see it, didn’t, did you? Well, guess what? It happened and it is real.
Oh, and what about my rejecting that Canadian pipeline. I was livid when I realized that it would mean access to an additional 700,000 barrels of oil per day, and the creation of thousands of jobs. It is bad enough, I guess that gas prices have continued to fall, let alone allowing for all this additional supply of oil to come in. Can you imagine? We got to be careful though, this “clean-energy” bull, is beginning to bite us in the ass big time. A lot of people have become smarter and realize that it was not quite as we had put it to them. I honestly think we carried it a little too far, ditto for Obamacare. On the issue of the oil, I think we will be better off by allowing some extraction of the fossil fuels – enough to keep people distracted thinking we have changed our position on this issue – not much though. On the Obamacare deal, well, I think we still have some time before people fully realize the magnitude of the scam. We will just have to play it by ear and be ready when it all explodes, as it will – eventually, assuming we win the 2016 elections of course.
Anyways, if you think I have done well domestically, I personally feel that I really outdid myself in foreign affairs and international politics. I think, correct me if I am wrong, that I will be leaving my presidency with an unprecedented legacy of destruction with no parallels in history like it ever before me, including, yes, the disgusting reign of Jimmy Carter.
I don’t even know where to start, but I will try. Let’s begin with the way I managed to discredit the U.S. as the world power it once was. I was able, if you noticed, to weaken the country’s national prowess and supremacy by reducing our military assets to its lowest levels ever. I won national and public opinion support by bringing back our forces from strategic mainstay buttresses across the world in places such as Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and others, all the while as we paved the way for the ISIS network to expand its presence in the footholds that we abandoned, notwithstanding the praises of our enemies and the censure of our allies. I have, if you noticed, been able to refrain from labeling ISIS as a “terrorist” organization – doing so would have been, in essence, a betrayal to my own Muslim heritage, thus my continued campaign to protect our image, regardless. In this terrorist deal, I think, again, I outdid myself as I tried to blame some of the damage done by our boys, you know, the terrorist attacks, the beheadings, etc., as I tried to sway public opinion into believing it had to do with “climate” changes. I thought by doing so, I would be killing two birds with one stone. Had to be careful though as these god-damn winter storms are really not helping our earth warming theories.
For the first time even in the history of our country, I was able to disparage Netanyahu and his Jewish State of Israel, as I showed Israelis my preference for the Palestinians and the Arab nations. I am proud of the fact that Bibi is mad at me, and I am proud of the fact that I pressed Israel to freeze settlement construction in the occupied West Bank. I am sure that Ben was not pleased with my speech to revive the peace process, endorsing the prevailing borders before the 1967 Arab-Israeli war as the basis for any peace negotiations, but I really don’t care. I think I made it clear to the world whose side I was with – case anyone had any doubts, including Bibi, of course.
I know I fell short on my promise to close our Guantanamo Bay military base in Cuba, but I think I made it up by making peace with the Castro brothers, and even got the Pope to bless my renewing relations with two of the bloodiest communist dictators in the history of mankind – a feat which I am very proud to have accomplished. I think I also made it up by releasing most of the top terrorists of the world held in Gitmo Bay, albeit the fact that most of them have returned to their high posts waging war against us.
Other headways I made in the international arena, were, of course, my letting my Russian counterpart, Putin, invade the Ukraine as well as his purported attempt to regain control of some of the states of the former Soviet Bloc. Hey, every bit helps, doesn’t it? Also, as far as the communist world is concerned, I have made sure to let our nation in-debt itself with China, to where the Chinese are now mastering our economy in many ways. Maybe someday, in the not too distant future, we can move Wall Street to Beijing, to where we are all a one-big-happy family. That’ll be the day.
Of all I have done in fostering our agenda of destruction, however, my proudest accomplishment yet of all has to be my recent pact with Iran. Notably, my pact will give Iran the right to enrich uranium, and eventually gain nuclear power capabilities sufficient to destroy the U.S. – possibly the world. How about that? Notwithstanding that Iran happens to be one of our worst enemies and principal exporters of world terrorism, I made sure they would be a part of my agenda so I decided to give them $150 billion U.S. dollars in that pact, as I had to make sure there would be enough money to fund their terrorist activities such as the recent terrorist attack in Paris and other key cities of the world, specially aiming to destroy the U.S. as their ultimate target of destruction.
Anyways, Hillary, enough of my accomplishments in politics, and let us talk about you and my endorsement of your campaign. First of all, let’s begin by understanding that, we both know and understand how much we despise each other for God knows how long. With that out of the way, I realize how important it is that someone carries on with the torch of destruction that I am ready to turn-over to my successor.
To be honest, I was quite concerned on whether or not I should give you my endorsement. I shall preface these concerns by acknowledging how very much you have wanted the president’s post all your life. Enough so, as having continued to stand-by your man, assuming, of course, that Bill is your man, despite the fact that he put you through one of the most embarrassing scandals ever in the history of politics.
Your willingness to endure such embarrassment is a true testament to your self-serving persistence in reaching the White House no matter what, even so if in the process you made a mockery of your professed defense of women in America. How you got away with it, I will never know, but you did it -a credit to you for your “disguising” capabilities. By the way, a trait I value greatly and find invaluable to our cause and our mission.
The one thing I like the most about you, is your innate ability to lie and tell people what they want to hear. You are, in fact a demagogue at heart – a highly desirable trait for those of us committed to deceiving the nation – one that commonly bonds us communists all over the world. Your history of scandals, from Whitewater to Benghazi and more recently your e-mail controversies are a credit to your moral turpitude – again, a highly desirable quality, which I deem incessantly needed to carrying out my mission. Your trail of deaths, again, in Whitewater as well as in Benghazi and your uncanny ability to lie your way out of situations, regardless are a credit to your Teflon capabilities; your ability to face the families of the fallen Americans in the Benghazi embassy and give them that cockamamie, out-of-the-box, story about a video being the leading cause of the death of these four Americans showed us how incredible witty you are when it comes to lying, as well as your obvious uncaring personality so much needed for successfully continuing our undertaking.
Frankly, I had not made-up my mind yet as to whether or not I was going to endorse you. To now, you, dear, were the unquestionable choice for the part. However, recent developments regarding your email scandal as well as the prolific rise of Bernie in the Iowa Caucus and other national polls made me worry. Here is why. You know I had made a strong commitment to you to keep you safeguarded from all the abounding legal problems you were facing; including but not limited to Benghazi and the emails. Notwithstanding the commitment I made, I can now see the email deal brewing as a much major problem in your presidential campaign than I had originally anticipated. I thought I could keep the scandal under control, completely encapsulated; free from indictments and so on as I have done in many other occasions throughout the past, but….God-damn it, your carelessness has made it so, to where I don’t really know if I can keep you out of trouble. I am not 100% sure I can keep Jim from asking for your indictment. You know, Comey is a pretty straight-forward guy and I might not be able to keep him from indicting you, moreover after what we did to Petraeus. Anyways, I will see what I can do but I cannot make any promises.
The other thing is, our experiment with Bernie, is really reaching its target. Never, for the life of me, I thought it would be possible. The fact that an outright Communist came as close he did in winning the Iowa Caucus, was, in fact, a revelation of sorts – a landmark in our agenda I should say – a true testament to what I have accomplished in bringing Communism to the U.S. I am gratified to realize we are finally getting there after all. Every day that goes by, I am more encouraged with the support we find everywhere – colleges and universities, the mainstream media, Hollywood, and, yes, our own congressmen and congresswomen.
Matter of fact, we have come so far that it is hard for me to even think that we may lose these 2016 elections after all. Let’s be real here, we are facing some real tough competition as conservative republicans make a last ditch effort to prevent the fall-out of the Union we all have been looking forward to. Come to think of it, Hil, I have made-up my mind not to endorse you after all. There is too much at stake and, frankly, the more I see the polls, the more I get worried that you can pull it through. I told you, back when you were the Secretary of State, you could not have your cake and eat it too. True communists, like me, have to make-believe that capitalism is evil as well as we must always try and pretend we are on the side of the needy and the less fortunate in our society. Your multi-million dollar Clinton foundation and your $600,000 speaking fees have only helped to tarnish the image we needed to portray in order for you to have a shot at becoming the next president. Look at me. I ran twice for the office of the president on the image of being “black” coming from the ranks and file of a disgruntled minority – a dedicated community organizer, only wishing to empower the less fortunate amongst us.
Anyways, hey, I am sorry, but I think you get the message. My endorsing you would only serve to jeopardize and undermine all I have gained so far in destroying our country. Hope you understand, but I just cannot afford to take any chances with you. Like I said, we are facing some real tough competition from these republican pack of presidential candidates. Most of them, if you have noticed, have our number. I want to close by thanking you for these last-minutes attempts you made to alienate yourself with my administration, but, honestly, I think they came a tad too late. I regret having to make this decision not to endorse you, but I do hope you understand it is for the better in meeting the objectives set-forth by the Party. I take this opportunity to wish you and Bill my best wishes in all your future endeavors. If at any time I can be of any assistance to you other than hedging your indictment and/or endorsing your campaign, feel free to call on me. Despite our obvious differences, Michelle and I will always hold you and Bill in high steam as one of our closest enemies and shall always cherish the memories, disappointments, and havoc you have both brought forth to our lives and to my administration. My heartfelt thanks for all you did.
Sincerely,
Barack Hussein Obama
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